Everyone on Beef Has Control Issues: How Power and Control are a Trauma Response
Beef, a dramedy series on Netflix, explores the world of Amy and Danny, two people intertwined in a spiteful competition with each other that began with a road rage incident. This show came at a very good time in our history. Besides the great writing and almost exclusively POC cast, Beef plays into our collective desire for revenge.
Don’t get me wrong. Revenge is not productive, nor is it a way in which these characters get true satisfaction in their lives. But there’s something about watching people take revenge that feels cathartic in a time where we’ve been frustrated by many elements of life we haven't been able to control: behaviors of political leaders, the pandemic, people’s behavior during the pandemic, etc…
Revenge and How Power & Control Accompany It
When I first started watching this, I was so excited. I love Ali Wong. She does “angry slighted woman” really well. She’s challenged every stereotype about Asian women, and in this role, leans into her aggression and messiness in a very satisfying way. I could make a whole blog post about her character but today I want to dive into Danny played by Steven Yuen. I found his relationship with his brother quite interesting and realize they each play out polar opposite sides of a major life theme often impacted by trauma: power and control.
Besides, you can’t talk about revenge, without talking about power and control.
Power and Control: A Trauma Response
Power and control are a few of the major life themes highly impacted by trauma. For example, If you grew up experiencing uncontrollable, negative events, you may develop the belief that you cannot control many of the things going on around you. For many people experiencing trauma, this can apply to every situation.
So even if something is controllable, you’ve convinced yourself that there’s nothing you can do about it, even if you can. This is called learned helplessness. If you live in a reality where you believe things can’t be turned around, you often end up preventing yourself from problem-solving and seizing opportunities that are right in front of you.
The Difference Between Brothers
This is how I see Paul, Danny’s younger brother. He’s often seen distracted playing video games. A drifter with no concrete plans about his future, and possibly depressed. He usually only acts by the motivation of others and doesn’t seem to take matters into his own hands until much later in the series.
On the other side of the power/control spectrum, you got Danny; a motivated, and at times manipulative, businessman who likes to take matters into his own hands. He validates all his behaviors, good or bad, in the name of building the dream home he imagines for his parents; a tribute to all their hard work.
Danny Grew Up Believing He Had Control
As the eldest son, Danny may have grown up believing that he had control over most things and could solve problems, even if they seem unrealistic. He goes a great distance to prove to others that he’s right, even when it hurts them. It’s important to him to be 10 steps ahead of everyone and you can argue it’s what he bases his livelihood on. But it’s a problem to be so controlling. Towards the end of the series, you discover Danny has sabotaged his brother’s ability to pursue a college education.
This plot twist brings forth Danny’s true issues with power and control. He tries to control his brother’s future plans and convinces himself that it’s for his own good. Only over time, as he continues to lose control of multiple situations (losing work, his home, etc…) does he realize the harm he’s caused Paul
Trauma and Oppression
Now you might say, what trauma did Danny and Paul go through? It wasn’t specifically discussed in detail. But it’s clear that Danny and Paul are greatly impacted by their parent’s failed motel business. As children of immigrants, they’ve watched their parents make sacrifices to thrive in the name of prosperity and opportunity for their children. As any child of immigrants can relate, the amount of pressure to make your parents proud is rooted in witnessing this sacrifice to start from scratch, work tirelessly, assimilate to a new culture, and watch them be subject to microaggressions along the way.
Where do you think you lie on this spectrum? Have certain events in your life influence the amount of control you think you have over situations? Are you a Danny and only feel at peace when in control of all things? Or are you Paul, throwing your hands up and feeling like nothing is worth the effort? Exploring your relationship with power/control in therapy is a way to create a healthier, more realistic perspective on what’s at hand. If you feel your power/control issues are based on trauma, Check out how Cognitive Processing Therapy or Individual Therapy can help!
Beef is now streaming on Netflix
Interested in Trauma Therapy in New York, NY?
If you are experiencing trauma in the way Danny and his brother Paul, discover how a skilled trauma therapist at Restority Space can help you. Embrace your strength and embark on a journey of self-discovery, reclaiming your autonomy and fostering healthy relationships built on trust and mutual respect. Follow these three easy steps to get started:
Contact me to schedule a 15-minute phone call to see if we could be a good fit
Meet with me, Fanny Tristan, a trauma therapist in New York, NY for your first session
Begin your journey to healing and finding peace from your trauma.
OTHER SERVICES OFFERED AT RESTORITY SPACE
At Restority Space, trauma therapy isn’t the only service I offer to help my clients with their well-being. I’m committed to providing the care women may need when it comes to their mental health online in both New York and New Jersey. In addition to trauma therapy, I offer Individual Therapy to help women cope with their anxiety, depression, breakups, unhealthy relationships, and any major life transitions they might be experiencing. I also provide Group Therapy to help individual women find a sense of belonging and for more support. My group services include a Therapy Group For New Mothers and a Therapy Group For Black Women. To learn more check out my blog and other resources!